Arms of an Angel
by Star Holder
Summary: *Title from the song Arms of an Angel by Sarah Mclachlan* Bosco is having nightmares as he struggles with the death of a 5 year old girl.
1. Chapter 1

Arms of an Angel

The day dawned cool but beautiful. The birds sang a melody of ease and satisfaction as the breeze drifted the clouds away like a curtain. The sky was a crisp blue; it was a picture of divine simplicity over the city streets. People began making their way out of their buildings, off to another day of work. It was a run of the mill town. Everyone got up at the same time every day, went to work, and got home at the same time every day. The streets and avenues were always congested, but it felt homey.

In the 55 precinct, silence was never golden. On a silent day, something was wrong. It was never welcomed but it was never really despised either for the men and women who kept charge in the area. For the emergency medical services, silence meant safety and control. Cooler temperatures meant people stayed off the streets and out of trouble. For the paramedics, it was an appreciated change of pace. They could sit around the fire station and relax, maybe even enjoy an entire meal without any interruptions. The fire department could at least revel in the fact that they wouldn't have to wear heavy turnouts in 80 degree weather. Their coats may even be warmth on a cool 50 degree morning like this.

However simple the cool weather made life over at the firehouse, across the street, the police department knew the drug dealers and hoodlums who made life one giant, pain-in-the-ass foot pursuit, would be mingling around today because they wouldn't sweat and suffer the discomfort of standing on the corner of the park with the heat beating them down. The kids wouldn't be manipulating the fire hydrants for the rest of the year either, which meant more water pressure for the bucket boys, and of course one less neighborhood complaint of decreased water amounts. It really was difficult to believe some of the asinine bullshit people could come up with, just for a little bit of attention from a uniform. Yeah, just get the police over to make everything better, so they didn't have to worry about getting their hands dirty… Maybe silence was golden. At least that way, a couple of panting breaths and some sore legs would be spared, rather than wasted chasing someone down for their crack possession.

"55-David, reports of attempted robbery. Citibank, corner of Mercer and Canal." The dispatcher's burly voiced cut through the light, morning banter of Officers Yokas and Boscorelli. Bosco rolled his eyes and grabbed for his radio on his shoulder.

"55-David, 10-4 corner of Mercer and Canal." He released the button on his radio and looked at Faith. Her attention was on the road which, of course, was crowded with the typical 7:30 am traffic. "So much for peace today. I knew when I woke up this morning that today was going to be a beautiful day. Guess you can't have beauty with peace and quiet." He huffed, crossed his arms, and looked out his window.

Faith couldn't keep a small smile from her face. Sometimes, working with Bosco was the equivalent to working with a small child. Generally, as her partner, he was comical and relieving. Not to mention, he was a damn good cop. He had the right amount of compassion for what he knew was right. He would back Faith up without looking back. He had absolutely no sympathy for neurotic jerks and people who deserved whatever it was that was coming to them. But who's to blame him? Too much compassion in this line of work got people killed.

"There it is, on the left." Faith pulled the car up to the corner and got out. Bosco was moving with much less enthusiasm. "You know Bos, the quicker you get your butt moving, the quicker this can be done with, and the quicker you can have some breakfast." It wasn't typical that the pair worked the day shift, but so many officers had called out with some sort of bug. No doubt, this shift would end up being a 24 hour shift.

"Well I am hungry… I just hope I don't have to chase anyone. In and out. Quick and simple. You know?" Bosco had shut his door and now they were making their way into the bank.

"Nothing is ever that easy. Remember beauty and peace." Faith giggled as Bosco rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'm going to make it that easy. I want breakfast." Bosco said as he pushed the bank's giant door open.

. Together, Bosco and Faith rounded a corner. They drew their guns as they proceeded slowly into the main area of the bank.

A tall and slender man stood with his back facing the partners. Bosco cautiously continued to walk forward towards the desk. The man continued to point a long barreled, wooden rifle down at the floor. There was a small cry from somewhere around the pillar that separated Bosco from the man. His heart dropped when he realized the cry was coming from a small child. The tips of his ears warmed up as his temper threatened to flair. He had a good enough visual on the perp who was advancing towards the location of where Bosco assumed the cry was eminating from.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Faith there behind him. Her jaw was set but her bottom lip began to quiver slightly as she battled her emotions. Bosco didn't want to see her cry so he turned his attention back to the scene from hell in front of them. The man had disappeared from the partners' line of vision. Bosco felt his heart begin to beat wildly as he assumed the worse. The child's cries had turned into blood curdling screams. He dared a glance around the pillar again.

A chilling scene played out in front of him. The man had moved to stand directly in front of a blonde girl. She couldn't have been more than 5 years old. She appeared to be the only person in that bank… most of the other hostages had been moved into the bank vault. This man was trying to use this girl as bait. Bosco felt sick as he watched the man grab the girl's hair in his fist and dragged her to her feet. She barely stood as tall as his thighs. She let out another whimper; no other sounds were heard in the bank. Bosco was momentarily grateful Faith was behind him and could not witness this without giving up their position.

His finger perched on the trigger of his gun which he held halfway up. His wrist began to shake with anger as he looked back and saw the little girl with the barrel of the man's gun to her tiny, blonde head. She was crying freely now, screaming at the top of her lungs. The two officers knew it was better that the vault door had been locked shut, as to drown out the baby's horrified screams. Seconds had barely passed by when Bosco had decided he had enough. He peaked around the pillar again and the young girl's eyes had met his. She reached her arms out in his direction and began to wail louder. His gun was level with the captor's head. The perp had detected a change in the child's behavior and noticed her stare around his massive leg. He turned around just as Bosco shouted for him to drop his weapon.

"Tsk, tsk… I don't like interruptions." The man's voice was husky and thick. Bosco's eyes narrowed as he cocked his gun and took aim.

"Drop your weapon NOW!" Bosco yelled again. Faith had inched her way up to Bosco's previous position against the pillar. Bosco had hoped she would stay there. The little girl resembled Emily. His heart bounded against the walls of his chest as he watched the man in front of him slowly smile, all the while, Bosco kept his gun level.

"No." Bosco watched in absolute horror as a loud crack filled the room along with a small whimper as the girl fell to the floor. Her blonde hair mixed with red.

Bosco took less than a second to react as he pulled the trigger back on his own gun. Faith jumped behind the pillar as a curtain of silence filled the room. Bosco had taken off in the direction of the two victims.

Faith stood where Bosco had moments before. She watched him kneel down next to a small figure, she assumed to be the child who was crying. He had checked for a pulse and her eyes filled with tears as she saw his shoulders slump forward and he hung his head. She also noticed he took no notice to the man who lay writhing in pain a few feet from him. His gun had been blown clear across the room along with the bottom half of his right forearm.

Bosco was removing his jacket and gently placed his across the girl's upper half. He looked down at the growing pool of blood that seeped and oozed its way out from under the left arm of the jacket. His stomach lurched as he thought of the look the child had given him when she was aware of his presence. She had looked at him for help and all he succeeded in doing was help her be killed.


	2. Chapter 2

Arms of an Angel – Chapter 2

**I do not own any of these characters but I wish I did! I'm just borrowing them but I'll return them safely to their Third Watch creators when I'm done! **

Bosco knelt in his protective position over the tiny, lifeless body. He paid no attention to the sudden rush of activity around him as paramedics Doc and Carlos began assessing the burglar. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered someone near the vault door as it clicked and swooshed open. Their voices were hushed to him and somewhere off in the distance. His focus was on the limp hand he held in his. The girl's face was etched into his vision and her cries engulfed him as the scene of her shooting replayed in his mind like a broken record.

He had no idea how long he was sitting there at her side before he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Bosco?" He didn't move, nor did he respond.

"Bos?" Faith shook his shoulder a little this time as she tried again. "Bosco?" He still had made no attempt to show he had heard her. His head still hung low, and in his hand, he still clung onto the little girl's hand.

"Bosco!" Faith was getting a little worried.

He picked his head up slightly. Faith's voice had permeated the back of his brain. He turned his head in her direction and looked directly into her eyes. She could see a mixture of grief and anger in his eyes. As quickly as she saw the emotion, he covered it up and now his face was void of any emotion at all.

"Come on, we're done here." Faith said softly as she removed her arm from his shoulder so he could stand up. When he made no move to do so, she looked at him.

"You ok Bos?" She deliberately kept herself from watching as Bosco nodded and gently placed the little, white hand back under the jacket.

"I'm gonna leave the jacket here." Bosco spoke as he slowly stood up. His knees cracked with the change of position. He looked back at Faith who gave him a small smile.

The two officers walked quietly back out of the bank, leaving the morbid scene behind them. Once both doors of the RMP were shut, Bosco let out a shuddering breath. Faith looked at him from behind the wheel. His eyes were closed and his chin was down. He had balled his hands into fists which were hitting his thighs. A few seconds passed by as Faith watched him move his hands from his legs to his face. He covered himself as he let out a chocked sob. He had lost control of his rollercoaster emotions.

Faith turned the key in the ignition back off and shifted her body so she could be facing him. She reached over and put a comforting hand on his leg. She rubbed it slowly.

"Why does this have me so worked up?" Bosco asked from behind his hands. Faith squeezed his leg.

"Because you're human Bos. Back in there was bad."

He dropped his hands back down to his lap. "She didn't deserve to die." He bit his lip as he fought back another cry. He wasn't going to allow himself to break down again.

"No she didn't. You're right. I'm sorry you had to see it." Faith gave him another small smile as she turned herself back around in her seat and started the car. "How about we go sit under the bridge for a little?" Faith knew Bosco's favorite spot to think was under the bridge.

He didn't respond as she put the car into drive and they took off. He took a few glances over at her as they drove. A couple times he noticed she was looking at him quizzically.

Once they reached the bridge, the car was put back into park. Bosco slouched in his seat while Faith put her elbow just under the window. Her chin rested comfortably in her hand. They sat in silence for almost fifteen minutes.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Bosco finally asked.

"Doing what?" Faith turned her face back forward so she was looking out the window. He had caught her looking at him again.

"You keep looking at me with that look on your face."

"What look?" Faith asked innocently.

"Like you wanna ask me something. If there is something on your mind, just say it."

"Why didn't you kill him?" Faith blurted out. It came out harsher than she expected. Though she didn't witness the little girl's death, she was just as angry at the guy for doing it to her. She also knew her partner, and was shocked that he chose not to kill him.

"I blew off his arm instead."

"You should've killed him." Faith muttered angrily.

"I wanted to make him suffer…"

"I think you successfully proved that point."

The pair sat in the RMP for a while longer as they listened to the sounds of the city talk to them. Bosco's mind kept replaying the girl crumble to the ground beside the man's feet.

_How could anyone do that to a child? _The thought made him angry. _God I'm a cop! Why didn't I step in sooner? I'm such a coward… she didn't deserve to be shot._ Bosco's mind screamed at him, telling him this was his fault. His feelings frustrated him and he was annoyed with himself for losing his grip in front of Faith.

"55 David, respond to a MVA in front of 12235 Lexington. Fire and EMS responding." Their dispatcher's voice crackled transmission filled the cab of the patrol car.

"12235 Lex, 10-4 Central." Faith keyed her radio and looked over at Bosco who had his head back against the head rest with his eyes shut. "So much for peace and quiet today."

"Yeah."

Once the two pulled up on scene, Faith threw the car into park. They stepped out and began to order bystanders to step back across the street. The accident involved three vehicles. Everyone seemed to be screaming what happened at once. Bosco turned to an elderly man closest to the scene.

"You say you saw it happen?" Bosco stood directly in front of the man. He took out his black book and began to write down the man's detailed description of what had transpired.

"That black pickup over there just plowed through the light. Had to be going 50! There was no way either of the other cars had a chance to react… terrible. Probably a drunk too." The man shook his head solemnly.

Bosco turned to look at the black truck again. He swallowed hard. The truck had ended up on the sidewalk across the street. There was a small sports car that lay mangled on it's roof in the middle of the intersection. The third car was a SUV that didn't appear to have much damage to it at all.

Suddenly, a high pitched scream filled the intersection. Bosco turned his attention back to the truck and saw Faith pulling frantically at the driver's side door. He ran over to her side.

"Fred!"


	3. Chapter 3

Arms of an Angel – Chapter 3

**I do not own Third Watch or its characters! **

**Also, sorry for any typos or content that doesn't make sense. I'm doing this without a beta. Oh and streets may or may not be made up but numbers and extra characters are all fictional! So please be nice! =) **

"Faith! Come on, move outta the way and let em work!" Bosco tugged at her arm, walking her away from where Fred lay motionless on the backboard. Kim and Alex made fast work at positioning themselves above him, ready to render necessary first aid.

"Fred? Can you open your eyes?" Alex knuckled his sternum. There was no response from the fallen Yokas. Together, Kim and Alex checked for breathing and a pulse in his carotid artery.

"No pulse! Kim he's not breathing." Alex positioned a non-rebreather mask over Fred's nose and mouth. She attached the bag which would supply supplemental breaths.

"Ok, I'm starting CPR!" Kim threw her hands down on Fred's chest, between the nipples. She began to compress his chest and counted out loud to thirty. Once there, Alex supplied two artificial breaths.

The cycle continued until another paramedic attached the AED pads to Fred's, now bare, chest.

"Stop CPR! Stand clear!" The heart shaped button on the AED flashed, signaling it was ready to shock its victim.

"_Shock advised…" _The paramedic who brought in the device pushed the flashing button. "_Shock delivered. Continue CPR." _The machine advised in a detached, mechanical voice.

Faith clung to Bosco's uniform shirt as the two stood back and watched as the process was repeated. To Faith Yokas, the world no longer existed. Her entire mind and body were tunneled in on the lifeless figure of her husband before her and the fabric of Bosco's shirt wrapped between her fingers.

Bosco cringed each time Fred's body was shocked. He watched as his muscles strained against the jolt, and the way his head lulled to the side each time, inviting Kim to check for a pulse on his exposed neck. This was turning into a cruel back-and-forth game. Sure, he didn't like Fred much and he despised the way he treated Faith but he would have never wished this on him.

_Come on Fred. This day has been hard enough already! Don't add to it… please just wake up… please! _Bosco subconsciously screamed at the man.

The routine went on. As the paramedic team went to continue CPR for the third time, Fred's body began a macabre dance.

"He's seizing!" Someone hollered, then grabbed a medic cell phone and began updating the doctors at Mercy on the developing situation.

"Fred! What's happening to him? Kim do something!" Faith cried and turned into Bosco's chest. "Bos! He's gonna die!"

Bosco didn't know how to respond to Faith's statement so he simply held her head to his chest. She could cry on him for as long as she needed to, if it kept her from watching what was being played out before their eyes.

Suddenly both medics stood up and Alex motioned over her shoulder for another team to bring in the gurney. The four picked up the backboard and placed it on the bed as they rushed him into the back of an awaiting ambulance.

"Does that mean he's ok?" Bosco grabbed Kim's arm before she was out of arms reach. He continued to stroke the back of Faith's head. He could feel her arms tighten around his sides.

"He still has no pulse and he's not breathing. We'll do everything we can for him, I promise. The doctors are waiting. You guys wanna come with us?" Kim placed her hand on Faith's back and gave it a comforting rub.

"No, I'll take her in the car myself. It's been a day from hell. She doesn't need to see her husband die right in front of her." Bosco said softly. He looked Kim in the eye as his mind refreshed the image of the tiny, blonde, 5 year old. He wanted nothing more than to cry out himself again at the merciless hand they were being dealt today. But his problems seemed remote, compared to the tragedy Faith was facing. Now was not his time to feel sorry for himself or look for sympathy from others. No, he had to be strong for Faith. If that meant dealing with his problems on his own, then so be it.

Bosco walked through the emergency doors at Mercy fifteen minutes later. Faith grasped his hand in a fierce grip as she continued to sniffle and fight back a new round of water works.

"Bos, I can't do this. I can already hear what the doctors will say to me." She choked back a sob as he led her to a deserted corner for some privacy.

"Faith, look at me." He took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him squarely. "You don't know what they'll say. He could be fine and you're just working yourself up for no reason. Just wait til we know before you go getting yourself upset again ok? Have some faith…"

He moved his hand to wipe away her tears. Then, he put his hand behind her head and guided her back to the still damp spot on his shoulder. She made no attempt to resist him as she resumed her position, wrapped around his waist. He put his left hand on her back and began rubbing in small, soft circles. Bosco could feel her take a deep breath and sniffle.

"Hey now, don't cry. You know I don't like seeing you cry Faith. Just between you and me, seeing you cry makes me less strong. Please believe me, whatever happens here, you're not alone." He continued to hold her as her muffled cries subsided with his repeated hushing sounds.

He closed his eyes and reveled in the fact that she was close to him. It was true, the closer she was to him and the stronger she was, the stronger he felt. Seeing her this upset was threatening to push his own fragile emotions back over the edge.

They stayed standing there for what seemed like an eternity until Bosco felt a hand on his back. He slowly released his grip on his partner and turned around. He kept one arm around Faith's shoulders as they came face to face with the doctor.

"Faith Yokas?" Faith nodded slowly.

**Hey! Sorry this is kinda short. I had to fill in some of the on scene stuff to make it more understandable. My mind is racing with ideas! All CPR facts came from my training… sorry if they vary from whatever you guys may know! **

**Like I said, I sadly own nothing! **


	4. Chapter 4

Arms of an Angel – Chapter 4

**Still own nothing. Sorry to any of those out there who may have (by chance) liked Fred. =)**

**I apologize for the slight delay on this update. I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday and I've been down for the count. **

"I'm so sorry." The words cut through Faith's brain like a train wreck. Her biggest fear came up and pulled the carpet right out from under her. She felt her knees go weak as Bosco struggled to keep her from falling to the floor.

"Whoa Faith. Come on, let's go sit down?" Bosco began to guide her away as she let out another pain filled sob and pushed him off her.

"I can walk by myself Bosco. I don't need you to walk me anywhere. I don't wanna sit down, and I don't wanna see you here right now."

"Faith? I'm not leaving you here alone." Bosco's voice was soft as he continued to comfort his best friend the best way he could.

"Go away Bosco!" Faith laid her hands on his chest and shoved him a few feet back. "Leave me alone!"

Bosco's jaw fell as her actions became real to him. He momentarily stared at her, turned on his heels and walked out the double doors, back into the night air. Faith crumbled to the floor in a heap and cried hysterically. _God, what have I done? _

Back in the RMP's protective silence, Bosco leaned his head back on the driver's seat head rest. He couldn't believe how poorly this day had turned out. He wearily opened his eyes and took notice that the sun was no longer shining. A slight breeze had picked up and a few of the fallen leaves landed, unceremoniously on the windshield of the car. He sat, debating with himself whether or not to wait for Faith. Her words had cut like a knife. She was all he had left to keep his sanity, and she had pushed him away like he wasn't worth the space he occupied. As if this day could possibly get anyway worse… now his best friend didn't want him around.

He continued to sit for a few minutes longer before he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the station house.

"Lieutenant Anderson." Came the reply.

"Lieu? It's Boscorelli."

"Where are you guys? I put you guys on lunch break after that accident. Didn't hear you guys acknowledge."

_Wow, was it already lunch time? _Bosco stole a quick glance at his watch. 2:15pm. _Holy crap, where did the time go? _

"Sorry Lieu. Faith's husband was involved in the MVA a few hours ago, I guess." Bosco still couldn't believe his shift was over in just under two hours. He never wanted to work days again.

"Is everything alright Officer?"

"No. He didn't make it." Bosco shut his eyes against the emotion that was suddenly threatening to overtake him. His best friend was dealing with the world's evil burden and she didn't want him to be there. He was useless.

"Oh. Well tell Yokas she is released of duty until further notice. You are more than welcome to sit with her at the hospital. You guys are done today." Anderson's sympathy was lost on Bosco whose mind was stuck on Faith's teary face.

"Bosco?" Anderson prompted when he didn't get an immediate response. Everyone knew Bosco didn't like Faith's husband in the slightest way but knew that he would be by Faith's side for as long as she needed him.

"Uh yeah? Sorry Lieu. Thanks." Bosco hit end on the phone, ending the conversation. He didn't think he'd be able to walk back into the emergency room and face Faith's despair. He'd had enough today. He threw the car into drive and headed slowly back to the precinct.

Maurice Boscorelli sat in front of his locker, staring blankly at the lock dial that hung there. He had no desire to dress back into his civvies and go home. Home only meant dwelling on the pain that today had insisted he endure. Such a beautiful day had taken the lives of two, undeserving people. The little girl's face once again appeared before his eyes; her 5 year old life coming to an end as he could see every detail replay like a movie strip. A loud bang, a gun shot, made him jump as her screams filled the air. He shook his head, willing away the sorrow that had followed the flashback.

The beautiful child's face was replaced by Faith's. Her soft, angelic skin was stained with tears and hurt. Her words reverberated through his mind.

"Go away Bosco!" Her words had hurt him. Just as soon as he had heard them again, the child's face returned, her terrified cries and her outstretched arms reaching for him to help her.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled as he stood up, not bothering to change. He shuffled his feet as he walked out of the locker room and down to his mustang.

He numbly drove back to his apartment and flopped, boneless down on his bed. The Kevlar vest made lying down uncomfortable so he rolled over onto his back. There, the gun belt dug into his back muscles. This was just not his day.

_"Oh god, please! NO!" Bosco's mind faltered as he saw the gun aimed at the girl. "Do something!" He stood, frozen in time as the girl fell to her death again in front of his eyes. _

_The gunman had turned back around and began walking in the officers' direction. A slow, creepy smile formed on his chubby face. He crept closer to where the partners hid behind a squared off pillar. _

_Bosco watched in pure, unadulterated, fear as the man took Faith's throat in his hands. His pudgy, pink fingers dug in as she made no noise. There was no attempt to escape. Bosco just stood there._

_"Go away Bosco!" Faith said once more. "Leave me alone!" _

_Another shot filled the air as he watched his friend's eyes roll back in her head, and she fell._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Bosco awoke in a deep sweat. He swiped at his forehead attempting to gather his wits. Rolling over, he was stopped by the crick that had formed in his back from his uniform. He groaned as he slowly swung his feet over the edge of the bed. As his feet hit the floor, he allowed himself to slowly straighten up. His lower back was tense and stiff. He sat on the edge of his bed trying to collect himself. Faith had gotten hurt, just like that little girl, because of him. He hadn't acted quickly enough. It was his fault.

Still perched on the side of his bed, he made slow work at removing his shirt, belt, and bulletproof vest. He kicked off his shoes. The pants could wait. He pushed himself off the bed and ran a shaky hand through his hair. It had been awhile since he was plagued by nightmares. That last one was unbelievably realistic.

As he made his way out towards the apartment's kitchen, a picture that hung on the hallway wall caught his attention. It was a picture taken from the last police department picnic. He and Faith stood together, holding a trophy their team had won in a softball game. They wore yellow NYPD t-shirts and black shorts. It had been a mandatory "uniform" for their team. A solid black hat hid their sweaty hair. Faith had her head resting on his neck and the two wore matching grins as they held the trophy over their heads together. She was his best friend, and he had thought that he was hers. Why would she just push him away? All he wanted to do was show that he actually did care about her.

He let his head fall away from the happy memory and continued to shuffle out towards the coffee pot. When he was done pre-setting the machine, he walked to the couch and fell inharmoniously to the black, leather, cushions. Smells of coffee wafted across the kitchen and in front of his nose. It was a reassuring smell and he let his eyes fall closed again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Still own not**hing** not even ER**,! **Enjoying writing this story though. I'm really sorry for my delays. Thanks to all who have reviewed for me. =) I hope you're all still enjoying this. **

Hiseyes flew open again as he realized he was dozing off. It was probably the fourth or fifth time in the same number of minutes that he had gone through this process. Every time his eyes fell shut, he would either see the young girl's panicked eyes or he could hear the gun shot echoing in his head. He stole a quick glance at his watch. _3:00_ pm. He had only been home for twenty minutes.

_ Oh boy, this is the start of a wonderful night. _Bosco thought to himself as he flicked on the television set, searching for something decent to keep his mind occupied. He found an episode of ER that he had never seen before and decided to settle.

His mind wandered back to Faith and how she had pushed him away. Bosco knew her well enough to know that she was in utter despair, but why would she push him away like that? Her words and pierced through all the layers of defense he had built up over the years. He mentally kicked himself for allowing one woman to make his solid façade crumble. Not even the words of his mother could have had the same affect on him. What the hell made Faith so different?

Bosco shook his head clear so he could stand and make his way to the fridge for a beer. As he peered in the appliance, he decided to take the entire pack back to the couch with him.

_Should I eat something too? _Bosco pondered. He knew better than to drink on a completely empty stomach but he just had no appetite. _Screw the food. I'll deal with the hangover tomorrow. _He cracked open the can and re-positioned himself on the couch. He hoped a beer wouldn't allow his mind to drift back to the accident. He knew sleep would elude him that night, if only Faith would have talked to him. His chest tightened as he replayed her words.

_"Go away Bosco! I don't want you here!" _

_ God, I should've told her tough shit. I shouldn't have left her there by herself. I wonder if she even had the decency to call the children. That should've been my job! Damn it Boscorelli! Some partner you are! _ He shook his head as he looked back down at the beer he was holding. Its appeal was suddenly lacking. He placed the drink down on the table and rubbed his hands across his face.

Deciding he couldn't sit still any longer, he walked down the hall to his bedroom. He grabbed a fresh change of clothes and a dry towel from the linen closet. He made his way into the bathroom and started the water.

The warmth cascaded over his sore muscles as it washed away the torments of his soul. Bosco crossed his arms over his chest and lulled his head from side to side, working out the kinks. He took a deep breath and briefly shut his eyes. He let out a small whimper, in the privacy of his own apartment. There, he wasn't ashamed of his feelings because he wouldn't ever have to hide them from anyone. His heart ached for his best friend's comfort, but it hurt more that he wasn't there for her when she needed someone so bad.

The vision of Kim and Alex shocking Fred's lifeless body flashed in front of his eyes. He ripped open his eyes to allow the picture to vanish.

_Oh Faith, what can I do? _He turned around and washed himself real quick. He made up his mind as he turned the water off, dried off, and dressed. _Don't make me regret this Faith! _

It took thirty minutes before Bosco stood in front of the Yokas' apartment door. He could hear soft giggles from the other side of the door. Music began to play and Emily and Charlie softly sang along. Bosco fought impulse to turn around and walk away. Faith's words still haunted his ears. Brushing away any trace of emotion, he knocked on the door.

"Uncle B!" Two sets of tiny arms wrapped themselves around his neck as he bent down to be on their level.

"Hey kiddos!" He could feel how fake his smile was but the two, innocent, children before him were buying it.

"We baked some cookies! Do you wanna try one?" Emily grabbed one of Bosco's hands in hers and led her off toward the kitchen.

One of Faith's neighbors stood in front of the counter, scraping soft chocolate chip cookies from the baking sheet to a cooling rack. The aroma of dough assailed his nostrils, making his stomach growl. Bosco realized that he and Faith hadn't gotten to eat much throughout their shift and once he had gotten home, he didn't notice his hunger. Even the beer hadn't been appealing after a few sips.

"Thanks for watching them." Bosco directed his comment to the elderly woman. He really didn't know her well. "I've got it from here."

"Yes of course Officer." The neighbor smiled and bent down to give each of the kids a hug goodbye.

"Emily, can you please get me a plastic container we could put these amazing cookies into?" Bosco asked as he picked up Charlie and placed him on the counter.

Container in hand, the three chose which cookies they were going to place inside. Bosco hadn't told either child where they were headed but he hoped Faith would appreciate the gesture. He made sure the Yokas children were in their jackets and buckled into the back seat of his mustang.

"Can we listen to some music Uncle B?" Charlie whined as he pulled at the seatbelt strap which appeared to be rubbing on his neck.

Bosco complied as the three drove towards Mercy. Emily and Charlie sang off-key in the back and the box of cookies sat between them.

"Why are we here?" Charlie asked as Bosco threw the car into park and allowed them all to exit the vehicle. He wasn't sure how to answer the little boy's question so he didn't bother. He walked hand in hand with both children as Emily held onto the cookies with her other hand.

Inside the hospital's ER, Bosco's mind replayed the incidents of the day which had landed them in this position. Life could be so damn difficult sometimes. He instinctively squeezed both the hands he held in his. He prayed that they wouldn't remember the antiseptic smell, the cries of the wounded, and the controlled chaos the hospital portrayed. From the bottom of his heart, he didn't want Faith's kids to be there with him. She hadn't taken the time to think about these kids, but he really couldn't blame her. Bosco guessed Faith would be in the nurses' lounge so that's where the triad headed.

"MOMMY!" Charlie let go of Bosco's hand and ran to his mother. She turned around the moment she heard his young voice. Her exterior façade crumbled again as she knelt down and gathered the boy up in her arms. "We made cookies!"

Emily handed her mom the container and looked at her. "What's wrong Mommy?"

Faith didn't say anything as she gave her daughter a hug as well. She took the lid of the cookie container and smiled sweetly.

"These look incredible guys! I'll be they'll taste just as good if you made them." Faith put her best smile on her face. Charlie seemed convinced, but Emily was a sharp seven year old.

"Mommy! Why are you crying?" Emily insisted again. Faith looked at her as if she hadn't been able to process the question.

"Em…" Bosco began, softly. Faith's head shot up and her eyes bore into Bosco's. For a second, Bosco was nervous that she would start yelling at him again in front of the children.

"Bos?"

"I'm sorry I came back. You told me to stay away. The kids…" Bosco turned on his heel, ready to walk way. "I thought they deserved to be here."


	6. Chapter 6

**Do NOT own Third Watch! Everything belongs to NBC and the show's creators! Enjoy =)**

Bosco slowly began to walk away. His head hung low, hurt and annoyed at Faith's mentality. Her kids stood by her and he could hear them talking to her, excitedly. She responded to them naturally, but her turns in the conversation were brief and despondent. Bosco's strides were deliberately slowed compared to normal and he inwardly begged Faith to say something. His heart knew she wanted to, and he knew that he wanted to tell her how terribly he felt about Fred. His brain told him to keep walking.

_She told you to go away for a reason. She obviously doesn't need you as much as you need her. _He told himself. The shocking truth hit him like a truck as reality set in that she really didn't need him as much as he needed her. Bosco's chest constricted in painful emotion as he picked up his pace towards the private lounge down the hall. _If she wants to be alone, I'll leave her alone. For now. _

Bosco connected his hand to the cool, metal door of the lounge and meandered in. It was dark and empty. _How symbolic. _Bosco thought bitterly. He found a chair in the corner, up against the wall and sat down. He rested his head back on the wall and shut his eyes, letting out a strangled sigh.

"_Drop your weapon NOW!" Bosco yelled again. Faith had inched her way up to Bosco's previous position against the pillar. Bosco had hoped she would stay there. The little girl resembled Emily. His heart bounded against the walls of his chest as he watched the man in front of him slowly smile, all the while, Bosco kept his gun level._

"_Tsk, tsk… I don't like interruptions." The man's voice was husky and thick. Bosco's eyes narrowed as he cocked his gun and took aim. _

"_No." Bosco watched in absolute horror as a loud crack filled the room along with a small whimper as the girl fell to the floor. Her blonde hair mixed with red. _

_Bosco immediately ran to the fallen girl. He went to reach for the soft, pristine face when its features suddenly changed. He recoiled, shocked, and nauseated as Faith's face appeared on the body at his feet. _

"FAITH!" Bosco shot up from his semi-reclined position in the chair. It took a moment to regain his surroundings. His heart wasracing, threatening ominously to beat out of his chest. His breaths were coming in short, rapid breaths. He ran a shaky, sweaty hand through his hair as he got up and began to pace the room.

"Mommy? Where's Uncle B going?" Charlie tugged on his mother's shirt tail as they watched Bosco leave the room.

Faith didn't answer. These kids were too young to have to bare her burden with her. She attempted to sway their attention in another direction. She tapped the top of the cookie container Emily still held in her hand.

"How about we try some of these?"

"Okay!" Emily and Charlie dug into the baked snacks while Faith's focus was still on the doorway her best friend had just walked out of.

_You're a selfish fool Faith. You may have just let him walk out of your life forever. You know he'd be the first one to help you with these two beautiful children, without second thought. _Faith wanted to talk to him, but had no way of knowing where he'd go or if he'd even talk to her. In her mind, she didn't deserve his forgiveness.

"You know what guys, you finish up those cookies. Share them! I'll be back in a little bit." Faith kissed both her children on the cheek and walked out into the hallway. She had seen the direction he had headed off in, and made her way down the hall.

The corridor was silent and cold. There was no sign of her wayward friend. Faith stumbled upon a dark lounge a few minutes later. _If I know Bosco…_ She pushed the door open and switched on the light.

The room suddenly overflowed with fluorescent lightas Bosco stopped mid-pace. He turned his body in the direction of the doorway and saw Faith standing there. Her bottom lip quivered like a child who had just been reprimanded. He closed his eyes and turned his body back around so she saw his profile. His nightmare was still vivid in his mind, and her emotional upheaval weighed heavily on his soul. Right now, he couldn't see her fall apart in front of him. He'd lose his own, inward battle to stay strong.

"Bos." Faith began, choking back a sob. She walked over to him and made it a point to stand directly in front of him. She put her hand on his face. "I'm sorry." She added, softly.

Bosco didn't say anything. Instead, he turned his head so her hand didn't touch it. He could hear her intake of breath; it was almost inaudible.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I was a fool to push you away."

His pain was slowly turning into anger. Sure, she had every right to hurt. Today had been a day from hell. He could definitely agree to that, but tough days meant sticking with friends side-by-side and getting through it together. Not pushing him away like some discarded piece of trash; not bothering to even consider his own feelings and what he was going through. Shit! That little girl died today because of him and his incompetence to take action. Did Faith care? Apparently not…

"Bos?" Faith tried again. She sniffled back a stray tear.

"Don't you have a family to take care of? Oh! I'm sorry! Those kids just got here because I went and got them! Did you even think to get them? No!" Bosco turned and continued pacing. Faith's jaw fell open and she pulled back as if she was just scolded by hot water.

"I'm sorry." She repeated.

"Yeah, you said that already."

"Bosco, please." Her voice was broken as she continued to battle her raging emotions. "I wasn't thinking. Fred died out there today. In our precinct."

"Tell me something I don't already know Faith." More pacing.

"You aren't making this easy for me." Faith crossed her arms across her chest.

"No kidding. You noticed?" His voiced was dripping with sarcasm. Currently, he was preoccupied making her hurt as much as she had hurt him. Deep down, he knew that wasn't the answer to this problem, but it felt good. _Oh boy. _He thought, never breaking stride.

Time for a different approach. "Bosco! My husband is dead and my two children are going to grow up without a father now! How could you be so inconsiderate?"

"I'm inconsiderate? Shit Faith, are you mistaken."

"What the hell are you talking about? How is this day as bad for you as it has been for me?" _Faith forgot! Fred's death has completely taken over, she doesn't remember the bank this morning. She forgot I was even at the scene of the accident. _Bosco stopped to look at her. She was freely crying now. Her last outburst had completely knocked the wall down that held back her grief. How badly he wanted to console her. He resisted.

What was he supposed to do? If she had forgotten, then why would he bring it back up? It would only serve to add to the day for her. Maybe it was better that she forgot. The sight and sounds of her crying was bothering him. He couldn't stand seeing her so broken. He couldn't bring himself to remind her. Not now.

"You have my deepest sympathies." Bosco told her as he walked by her and back out the door, into the silent hallway.

"You know Boscorelli, you could've taken a few days off. Nobody here would have questioned you about it." Lieutenant Johnson said from behind the main lobby desk, just as Bosco was passing by on his way to the locker room.

"Gotta work." Was all Bosco replied with. Johnson smiled to himself and shook his head.

A few minutes later, Faith walked into the precinct in her civvies. She didn't remove her sunglasses as the door shut behind her, and she walked up to the desk Bosco had passed moments before.

"Faith?" Johnson questioned. She nodded and slowly removed her shades to expose her red, puffy eyes. The Lieutenant gave her a hug over the desk. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. I'm here to sign some paperwork for yesterday's incident?" She started. She had stayed up all night with the kids over at Mercy. When she had gotten the call to come for paperwork, she couldn't remember the call they had responded to. She hoped reading the work would spark her memory.

"Ah, yes. Let me grab the file." Johnson searched his mound of papers, finally handing her a manila envelope.

After a few minutes, she put the file back on the desk and put her hand in her hands. The incident came back to her in full force. _I can't believe how cold I was to Bos last night. I'm never going to be able to make this up to him. _Faith heaved a sigh as she took a pen and signed off on the file.


	7. Chapter 7

**Don't own Third Watch or its characters. Borrowing them but I'll return them safely I promise! Please review and enjoy… =) **

Bosco's shift, alone in the RMP, had been unsuccessfully quiet. He had desperately wanted to sit under the bridge and stay off the radar. Sully and Davis could handle calls fine without him around anyway. To Sullivan, Bosco was a nuisance. The two could not see eye-to-eye on their tactics and approaches to the job, but Sullivan had the seniority that Bosco didn't. If he had truly wanted to, Sully could pull the plug on Bosco's career. Deep down, Bosco knew John Sullivan cared enough about him but his approach was almost as bad as Faith's good natured, innocent, "let's help the world" approach. _The two of them would make an interesting pair. _Bosco surmised as he pulled the car into park in front of the precinct house. _Another day, another dollar. _

"Yo! Bos!" Ty Davis said from around his locker as Bosco came through the locker room door. He nodded in the young man's direction but proceeded to his own locker, and ripped it open. Just the thought of Faith made his chest ache for her friendship.

"Bosco?" Davis tried again to attempt conversation.

"Yeah." Bosco's response was detached and void of emotion.

"Uh, well… I was uh…" Davis stammered, momentarily surprised at Bosco's lack of enthusiasm. Normally, Bosco was talking idly about something that had occurred on shift, or ranting and raving about a new girl.

"You gonna stand there all night and talk like a floundering fish or are you gonna tell me what's on your mind?" Bosco began to change out of his uniform. He regretted his words immediately. This kid was not the source of his anguish. _Oh that's right, my best friend is the root of my problems. _"Sorry Ty."

"No sweat." Davis shrugged but made no attempt to say what was on his mind. As he rounded his locker, heading for the door, Sully stopped him.

"Davis," he began in a hushed tone. "He's just had a rough day. Don't let him get to you."

"Yeah." Davis nodded, smiled, and headed for the door.

Sully turned and watched as Bosco sighed and sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. He was fully dressed now, minus his shoes, but made no move to leave. Sully found his uncharacteristic behavior alarming. Bosco actually seemed to be upset about something, making him appear humane. As the senior officer, Sully took that moment to confront Bosco.

"Hey, you okay?"

"What do you care Sully? You don't like me." Bosco said as he tied one of his shoes.

"Well, I care about my partner and you just chewed him out."

"I said I was sorry." Bosco didn't look up as he began to tie his other shoe.

"It was uncalled for." Sullivan folded his husky arms across his chest and leaned against the edge of the locker row. "If you have a problem, I suggest you talk to someone and get it figured out."

"Mind your own business Sullivan." Bosco growled as he stood and picked up his duffle bag. He started for the door, but Sully stepped in front of him.

"I'm not joking Boscorelli. Ty's a good kid, a good head on his shoulders. And if you had just given him a moment he was going to ask you to join us for a steak and a few beers tonight. Decent human beings don't jump down someone's back for no reason. Your attitude was uncalled for and Ty didn't deserve it. If you have a problem, go talk to someone. Nobody wants to have to deal with your mood." Sullivan had backed Bosco up against a wall. Bosco almost smirked, thinking his face looked like it was going to pop. His cheeks had turned a dark shade of red; they appeared purple, and his face broke out in a sweat.

"Damn Sul, don't try so hard. You may pop a blood vessel and your face may stay that color. Now back away from me and let me leave." Bosco made to move around his colleague but Sullivan stopped him again.

"I mean it Bosco! Leave your problems outside of work. I suggest apologizing to Davis too." Now Sullivan even had a finger wagging in front of Bosco's face. If Bosco hadn't been so emotionally drained, he'd be angry enough to bite the porky appendage.

"Sullivan, you don't wanna keep me here against this wall. I assure you of that."

"Is that a threat Bosco?"

"No, but it will be if you don't back away." Bosco moved around the man in front of him and finally made his way towards the door. He had to get home.

"Faith wouldn't ever let you talk to a superior officer like that." Sullivan said.

Bosco didn't turn around. Instead, he kept walking out the station house. _Damn! Stop creeping into my thoughts Faith! You've destroyed our friendship. Well, I guess I never meant much to you if it was that easy to do in less than a day. Huh. Why didn't I ever think of that before? If my friendship had meant anything to her, she wouldn't have been so willing to push me away. Then again, she did try to apologize and I basically told her to stuff it. And I did the same thing to Davis tonight without even second guessing myself. What kind of person am I? Threatening Sully? Now THAT could get me fired. That's the last thing I need. Could you imagine Boscorelli? A 5 year old, beautiful little girl, dying because you were trigger shy… Faith's husband dying only hours later… losing your best friend and partner… probably losing whatever friendship may have existed with Ty… and now potentially getting fired because you got mouthy with a superior officer? Jeez, you've lost it! _Bosco thought as he walked down the precinct steps and got into his car.

He fished inside his pocket for his apartment keys as he rounded the corner. He walked down the hall and was almost in front of his door when he stumbled into someone who had made no noise. He was in no mood for confrontation tonight so he stuck his key into the door.

"Sorry." He mumbled as he pushed open the door and walked inside. He had no idea the person he had bumped into had followed him inside and softly closed the door.

Bosco threw his bag and keys down on the carpeted floor of his living room. He would definitely be running around, frantically searching for those keys tomorrow when he was leaving for work. He shrugged as he went to his fridge for a beer. He cracked the can open when he heard a throat clear. He turned around, not knowing he wasn't alone. He jumped when he saw Faith standing in his living room, over his keys he had discarded haphazardly.

"You know, you'll forget you put them there." Faith looked down and pushed the keys slightly with her foot.

"What do you want Faith?" Bosco took a large gulp of the alcohol and burped.

"Polite."

"So?" Bosco stood there, rooted to the floor. He couldn't believe she had just followed him inside his apartment without him knowing. It was unnerving.

"Anyway, I need you to listen to me." Faith began as she sat down on a clean end of his couch. She crossed her leg over the other one and waited for him to respond.

"Well you better start talking because you have until I finish this beer."

"I need your help Bos."

"Oh, now you want me around?" Another mouthful of beer was gulped down.

"Bosco, I was upset. Fred was killed in that car accident. It was a terrible day." Faith's eyes welled up and threatened to allow tears to cascade down her angelic cheeks.

_Oh no, please don't start crying. _Bosco kept his thoughts in check. "No kidding. Think you forgot… I WAS THERE FAITH!" He chugged down the rest of his beer and crumpled it in his hands. He spun around and reached into his fridge for another. Faith cringed as she realized where his behavior could lead him. She hated when people drank.

"I know. I'm sorry Bos. I'm sorry I pushed you away, and I'm sorry I forgot about the little girl." She took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I'm not forgiving you that easily."

"Oh don't be such a stubborn ass! I can't take back what I said! These last few days have been awful. But because I have to go through the planning of his funeral alone, it made me realize how much of a poor friend I was to you! Okay? Jeez Bosco I was wrong! And I'm sorry! I wish I could take it back, but I can't! What else do you want me to say to you?" Faith sobbed. She watched as he cracked open the second can and took a swig.

"What did you come here for Faith?" He asked as he took another drink.

"I don't know if I wanna ask you now."

"Who's being stubborn now, huh? Just ask me." He finished the second beer, crumbling that one and throwing it away. Once again, he turned around and reached into the fridge for another.

"That's your third since you walked in that door ten minutes ago Bosco." Faith pointed out through her tears.

"Yeah? Last I checked, it was my house and my beer. You want one?" Bosco knew she hated him drinking.

"You know the answer to that." Faith's voice took on a motherly tone. Bosco had heard her use it with the kids every now and again. _So_ _now she's talking to me like her child? _Bosco thought unintentionally.

"So you're still not gonna ask me what you wanted to?" Bosco didn't bother to apologize for his snide remark.

"You'll say no."

"Try me." Another beer chugged and a fourth beer can tab lay on the counter as its can was opened beneath it.

"You'll regret those tomorrow morning."

"Whatever. What the hell did you come here for?"

Faith looked hurt but she took a breath as she prepared to ask her best friend for the biggest favor she could think of.

"Bosco, will you help me arrange Fred's funeral?"


End file.
